Biography of the parents essay
I resolutely abstained from such advice simply because my perennial observations of human nature and, among others, unequivocally prompted: one who does not think of himself without regular excursions to art museums will visit them online during isolation without any hints, and the one who has not read Kafka in the previous years, is unlikely to throw his books during epidemics and personal and personal and personal and personal and personal and personal and personal and public uncertainty.
However, something or someone closer to Kafka and Tretyakovyk can be found out better, I thought and invited 50 families to write spring-summer works. They wrote two family members - mother and child. Why not a father?
I sincerely believe that how well the mother and the child know each other well, in modern Russian society, it ultimately depends more than a child - father - father. Although in recent years the situation has undoubtedly moves towards some balance. The tasks were formulated as follows: for the child: tell me what you know about your mother. You know, but you don’t suppose, you don’t know, you don’t feel in relation to it.
Very simple: what do you know. Right now. Almost all the children wrote this essay in my office while I was talking with their mothers. To simplify the work of children, I gave some strongholds - education, work, hobbies, mother’s social life and so on. Mothers wrote works at home and sent by e -mail. Their task was more complicated and more ultimate: “Only facts,” I ordered.
Write: "He always guesses when I have a headache and brings a pill, and he also picked up two abandoned kittens on the street, he cured them and takes care of them for three years." This is the only way. Almost all children - 25 boys and 25 girls from 9 to 16 years old - completed the instructions. Two -thirds do not know what their mothers are doing at work.
Five know what the organization in which their mother works is called. More than half cannot call the position. Also, more than half do not know what kind of mother has an education, and only two called a specific specialty she received once. Five mothers are studying right now. Only one said exactly who. Two wrote: my mother loves her work, she told me herself.
Five wrote: my mother does not like her work and works there only because of money. Four out of the seven out of seven people know about some actions and facts of the mother’s biography before the birth of the child was born before the birth of the child. Two -thirds accurately described the appearance of the mother. At least one personal practical observation is “my mother is usually silent”, “my mother is embarrassed to speak with strangers”, “My mother always organizes everything in the family, and when we go somewhere with others”-in seven works.
With a description of the hobbies of mothers, except for the travels of 22 people, “talk with friends” 17, all the girls and “sit on a computer, phone, watch TV” 42 people - a full seam. Almost no individual traits. Three in contrast - “hates to cook” this I believed unconditionally. Talking about social life, five were allegedly listed friends and friends of the mother. Eight more wrote "My mother has many friends." Three wrote: my mother is lonely, she herself said.
Seventeen: My mother often curses with my father's stepfather. Ten: my mother has good relations with my father, they do not swear. Five: My mother would like to find a man for himself to help her. Three: My mother wants to divorce, but has not yet decided. One: my mother did four plastic surgery, but my dad and I only said about two. Another: my mother is engaged in charity work. For some reason, without clarification, what exactly she does.
Doesn't know? Of course, I triumphed internally, reading this, because this is already a result. Three came to see what color the mother's eyes. Of course, many could not resist the generalizing phrase at the end of their essay like: “I really love my mom! It’s definitely not me. Almost all parents did not follow the instructions. The most common in their writings was the phrase "He is very emotional with me." I am absolutely not exalted, but when I read it for the time, I had a completely irrational desire, clearly from the psychological arsenal of a bad teacher: take a red handle and delete, delete, delete.
My second anti -fabric - "I have it capable, but lazy." The definition, which right before my eyes, crippled hundreds, if not thousands of fate and spoiled hundreds of child-child relationships. Surprisingly, most parents are not even able to clearly and accurately describe the appearance of their children. This is much better for their children, here is a good example: “My mother is low and full, on one cheek and on the elbows of the dimples, the eyes are large, brown with green specks, when she laughs - and she laughs very often - her eyes are closed with round blue centuries and the gums above even teeth are visible.Mom moves, as if rolling, but very fast, once - and she is already there, and you didn’t even notice.
” A great portrait, agree. In no parent's work, nothing is even closely similar, as if they had not studied at school in Russian classics. Almost everyone noted one more hobby, for example: collects Lego, reads books, draws, loves to walk with friends. 26 parents wrote about two more hobbies, about three - everyone listed the mugs visited to the Pandemia, but from this transfer it could almost be understood that there was a child himself and that parental ambitions or the recommendations of doctors.
At a point with animals, my instruction was simply not executed. Does the cat stroking every day? Or he was asking for three aquariums, he serves them himself, breeds rare fish there and is in the aquarist club? It was impossible to understand this from parental works. Five mentioned the persecution, not a single essay was named her reason. Detailed and intelligible, without “emotionality” and “abilities, but lazy”, a description of the child’s actual nature and personality - “he says a lot”, “often loses”, “heavily loses”, “hard to achieve goals” all this - with examples I met in five works of descriptions rolled into complaints: “does not listen to him,“ does not respect the elders ”and the same.
At 11 - to the indescribable praises: “very capable”, “beautiful”, “with good taste”. All parents read essays about themselves. To my question: will you recognize yourself here? Is the main thing seized? I recommended the rest of 39, without delaying, to tell my child about himself what they did not have enough in these portraits and expression. All children, by agreement, also read parental works.
36 children positively answered a similar question about recognition. I expected that there would be five or six positive answers and a shaft of teenage protest: “No, I'm not like that, I am more complicated and interesting, you do not know and do not understand me! With emotionality and laziness, the primacy of the gadget over everything and the absence of real friends.
How to go into the world with such a portrait? I was upset. And then she thought: maybe it's just tolerance and unwillingness to upset my mother? So she didn’t decide. But I am sure that this exercise is simple and useful. And summer is a good time to find out something about yourself and about who is nearby. In conclusion, I will give me a tripping excerpt by Vika, 13 years old: “My mother has many problems.
The husband threw her, they delay the salary at work, and my grandmother was sick for a long time and died last year. But my mother never discourages, she says that the world is still beautiful and loves funny, she goes with her friends to the cafe and leads us with her brother to museums and walk. And when the coronavirus came, my mother and I made a performance, photographed him on the video and sent him to all friends and relatives, and even the hamster and dogs had roles there.
And we also baked a huge cake of seven cakes, ate ourselves and carried it to all neighbors. My mother is strong, and I want to grow up to her, when I grow up. ”